Ever have those days when you just want to sock yourself in the face?
You’ve tried so hard to do the right thing, to be that person you want yourself to be, but in the end you crashed miserably and burned a whole pile of people in the process. All the time and effort you’ve put into building trust… into maintaining a safe relationship… is a cloud of ash.
Forever gone, in just one moment of failure.
Or, is it?
It may feel that way, but is it really gone?
The other week, I confessed to my sister how, when we were little, I was the one who stirred her goldfish up in it’s little goldfish bowl with a plastic spoon until it had a heart attack, and floated. I just wanted to see how fast it could swim. I didn’t try to make it die. But it did.
She, kind-hearted lamb, suddenly remembered dozens of offenses she had committed to me.
Thing is, I didn’t remember a single one of them. All I remember about our childhood was a fun, spry little playmate who came up with many schemes, was always up for a bike ride or fishing trip, and always left surprises on my pillow on the holidays.
Our interaction got me thinking.
Could it be that trust isn’t about the visible, but the foundation?That the unseen foundation…. the entire picture all put together…. is more relevant than the tiny puzzle piece of what’s said and done in a moment of conflict?
I had a boss once, who everyone was afraid of. He brought the house down when he was upset. Seriously. Not the roof, thank goodness, but pots, pans and anything else in his wake.
Thing is, everyone who spent long enough around him soon considered him one of their best friends. No matter how much he ranted and swore, he was, at the foundation, a friend worth having. At the foundation, he truly cared about his staff, and protected them at all costs.
Six years later, I hardly remember the rants. I just remember a safe environment, and being empowered every day. I’m not saying he never hurt me, I’m just saying I don’t remember it.
Mistakes happen to everyone.
Don’t fall into the condemnation trap. Stop looking behind you.
I know you’re quick to ask for forgiveness when you mess up, but I’m guessing the biggest question is…. can you forgive yourself?
Just ask! Accept. It’s already been done, by the only One who can be fully perfect on this earth.
Just ACCEPT His forgiveness! It’s for real, I promise.
No looking back now! You are gonna be just fine, and so are they.
Leave a Reply