Tag: funny situation

  • Less is more (usually)

    I’m preparing myself for a minimalistic future. Something around 90 square feet, if all goes as planned, so needless to say I have some changes to make. Today I took my first step in downsizing. I just chose one clothing item to start with. Dresses. This shouldn’t take long, I thought. I was wrong. That dark, cobweby […]

  • How to make your way through a crowd of shoppers

    We’ve all been that frizzy-haired, hangry (I.E. angry because of hunger, for those of you not acquainted with aforementioned colloquialism), bone-tired shopper, frustrated with the crowds that malls and department stores attract, and wishing we could afford to patronize small, local shops alone. Maybe these six steps will spur you on to a happier Walmart stride.   I […]

  • The Terror That Flieth By Night….

    It was three a.m. and I awoke to purring in the rafters above my bed. If I would have woken up hungry for a snack, it would have been ok, and I would pilfered some cookies and gone back to bed. If it had been a housemate sleep-talking, no big deal. If it had been […]

  • Another 8 a.m. lesson

    My friends and I went camping on Assateague Island for my friend’s 21st birthday. We camped in the State Park area, which was blooming with dune goldenrod (which is unusual), and teeming with people (as it is all season). We strolled the beach as the setting sun tainted the cloud-filled sky with a hundred hues, roasted hotdogs over […]

  • Don’t eat in the shower, kids.

    If you had an awkward week, let me tell you about mine. Maybe it will make you feel better. I had to practice my swimming this week, and this is how it went. I didn’t make my week’s goal. I had to call someone I’d never called before, and I didn’t know his voicemail only lasts […]

  • Stick-Hopping {and other winter adventures}

    My adventurous friend and I tented out in the snow last night. We wore fleece, filled our Nalgene waterbottles with hot water and tucked them at our feet, burrowed under our sleepingbags and fell asleep to the sound of Harley’s snoring and the loud whine the neighborhood snowmobilers whizzing through our front yard. My friend […]

  • Pick Up Lines, Church Style

    Pick up lines crack me up. Anyone who knows me well has probably been the awkward recipient of one…… because hey, let’s just face it, everyone’s day gets brighter when someone they love compares them to a pomegranate. So, if you need a little help at Youth Group tonight, here you go. My top five […]

  • My Yellow Dress & What Sounded Like A Helicopter

    I was 18, and my first car was a Mercury Sable station wagon. Eggshell-tan, except for where the paint was peeling to reveal a lighter color underneath. Inside, the upholstery was ripped and if you plopped into your seat too hard dust would fall from the exposed and brittle insulation in the ceiling. The license […]

  • I’m mature……RACOON!!!!!

    One day not so long ago, I received a call from one of my best buddies, who happens to live in the valley right below me. She called to tell me about a creepy raccoon that was parading about on their property at all unrighteous hours of the day. I mean, it LOOKED innocent enough. But raccoons are […]

  • April Fools ALLREADY??!?

    Since I’m one of those lame people who forgets about April Fool’s Day until the day is almost over…. here’s my to-do list for NEXT year. Or, um, anytime, really…… < Make Someone The Unchewable Sandwich Put Juicy Fruit gum in between slices of white cheese on a cheese and meat sandwich. Paste on an innocent […]